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April 2009

Re: A lil part of me (Ends: 30th April)

I look back, upon days gone by.
I hadn't the slightest clue I would become who am I now.
That child that begged to die at his hand.
Now shouting against the evil.

The young homeless teenager.
Smoking and rebelling her pain away.
The girl who cut herself to end it all.. to make it go away.
Now the woman thankful for every moment.

A woman who once modeled and proud of her appearance.
Taking for granted every strand of hair.
Every movement with a minimal amount of pain.
Now being the woman bald, curve less, with jutting bones.

Not realizing that pills would become my meals.
That a hospital bed would become my home.
That those narcotic needles would bring solace.
That those gowns would become my wardrobe.

I've grown from an angsty teenager ..
.. to an adult that can do nothing but appreciate everything.
The pain, the agony, it all had made me into what I am today.


Result #39 on Apr 24, 2009, 11:39pm

Sacrificial Lamb.

I think I always knew.
I think I always knew in the beginning that it would be me.

It would always be me.

Somehow I knew I'd lay on these bed of nails.
I knew I'd bleed.
I always knew it would be me.

"It was a miracle, she survived."
No pain they said.
Her pain was to become mine.

The miracles one by one.
They spread around me as if in a fantasy.
Yet, they all seemed to skip me.

I watch them in their sinning ways.
As I bow my head to pray for my broken body.
Yet they aren't the ones that are dying in wretched pain.

Why do I bleed their transgressions?
Why must I see sorrow and they see sunshine?
They will never know.. nor care to see.


Result #36 on Apr 27, 2009, 10:09pm

Dear God.

Dear God, I pray to you yet again.
I'm so tired, weary and stretched so utterly thin.
Do you hear my body wracking cries at night?
Do you really know the solace I'd have seeing that final light?

Along the way did I do something wrong?
I'm really not sure that I'm this strong.
My organs fail and my body decays.
I lay in this bed for days upon days.

Please dear God, I need this break.
Being strong is something I can no longer fake.
Please oh God please take this cancer, decay, and pain.
Please just take it, erase me.. wipe it clean like a new spring


Result #31 on Apr 28, 2009, 9:22am

This Life.

What the world makes of us all.
Our friends and family, troops on call.
As they go marching forward in que.
Wounds sewn.
Some of us ignorant to disaster with no clue.
This era heading towards hell.
Not even a moment to stop and exhale.
But not living.
As we bow our heads to pray.
No answer.
Watching those die as they lay.
A world so self absorbed.
Materials are the only things that seem to be adored.

Copyright (©): Rebecca Dawn.

Result #12 on Apr 29, 2009, 9:37am